This Is What I Call It
How I renamed the shake and took back the story
There are words that enter our lives without warning. Some tap politely. Others kick the door in and wipe their feet on the way. “Parkinson’s” was one of those. A stiff Victorian surname, cold as a brass doorknob. It sounded like a character who should be trapped in a dusty museum cabinet, not something sneaking into my daily life. Parkinson’s is the name of the disease. Parki is the sufferer. And I had no intention of calling myself that. Too formal, too historical, far too convinced of its own importance. And to complicate things, I even have an old school friend called Mehrdad Parki. He is now a medical doctor in Iran. Lovely man, terrible coincidence. I was not about to name my tremor after him.
So I started changing it. I skipped anything polite and went straight to “Sparki”. It arrived fully formed, like a tiny firework dog desperate for attention. Sparki sounded bright, restless, impossible to pin down. It took the edge off the seriousness instantly. It is hard to be terrified of something that could just as easily be a mischievous cartoon sidekick.
Sparki had bounce. Sparki wobbled with enthusiasm. Sparki was always ready to sprint through my day whether I asked him to or not. For a while, Sparki was enough. It gave the whole situation a flicker of humour I badly needed.
But Sparki did not stay Sparki for ever. The puppy grew up. The wagging tail developed opinions. The little tremor became a full character with presence. One day, without warning, Sparki puffed out his chest, planted his paws and introduced himself as Spartacus. Not the historical hero, but the modern, slightly shaky, stubborn version who has decided he lives here now.
Spartacus is dramatic. Spartacus refuses to kneel. Spartacus shakes, but mainly out of attitude. He arrives uninvited, rearranges the furniture and behaves as if he is paying rent, although he has never contributed a penny. I have learnt to treat him like an eccentric lodger. No point arguing. Let him rattle the cutlery and get on with my day.
Sparki lit it. Spartacus owns it.
Spartacus is a slow moving neurological condition caused by changes in the brain’s dopamine system. Science calls it Parkinson’s. I call it Spartacus, because if something insists on shaking, it should at least have a dramatic name.
That is their version. Mine is simpler. I no longer use the Victorian surname. I use the one that fits my life. And if I must share my days with something unpredictable, it might as well have a name that makes me laugh while it trembles.
For more information on Spartacus, visit Parkinson’s UK.
© Mehrdad Aref-Adib 2025
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